My Mother is Dying

I guess it struck me kind of hard when I noticed it. She began having hallucinations, scary ones, like about people trying to kill her; and she sees children that aren't there, thinks she's riding on the bus when she's sitting on the couch or walking up the hall.

She asks me the same question a dozen times within 15 minutes. She can't figure out days and times, and she will lie on the couch all day sometimes, in and out of sleep. When she's awake, she's agitated, anxious, afraid.

She's 84 years old, and she's dying.

Not today, not tomorrow, but she is deteriorating.

I've already lost her. She isn't there anymore.

And I hate it.